This is a topic that David and Volker have discussed quite a bit in private, so felt it was finally time to record a conversation for the podcast. We discussed how you deal with your “babies” becoming young adults.
David’s youngest child starts secondary school in September, so he’s busy checking out local schools. It’s a stark indicator that the children are growing up fast. Volker’s sons are now at secondary school.
We discussed how once your children start high school, they are exposed to a whole range of new influences. However, there are things we got up to as teenagers but wouldn’t necessarily want our children doing. Volker says that he was already drinking and smoking at the age of 15.
We also discussed, how our children grow up differently to how we grew up. Volker says his oldest exercises 5-7 times a week and doesn’t show any interest in unhealthy activities such as smoking.
Is this because Volker’s sons see him exercising regularly and therefore view it as “normal”? Neither Volker or David’s parents took part in the activities they have (such as marathons and triathlons).
Volker also says he talks more with his boys than his dad ever talked to him, so therefore has a much closer relationship. We also discussed that while there seems to be a greater focus on health and exercise, there can be greater on boys to have “the perfect physique” due to social media.
We also discussed how porn is a lot easier to access than it was in pre-internet days. David said that when it came to his daughter, he was concerned about sharing intimate pictures in the future, with a boyfriend, which could then be used as “revenge porn.”
Volker talks a lot about his parenting style and they both speak about how proud they are of both their children, forming bonds and giving them enough space to learn from their own experience. And every child is different and unique, which is super important to remember – so what is a suitable school for one child may not be suitable for another.
They discuss whether they are too harsh to their children, seeing as they have grown up in a more privileged situation than David and Volker did. However, both agree that their children need to learn that items, such as iPhones need to be earned.
However, we also discussed how phones give our ‘babies’ freedom as we can keep tabs on them through their phone location and talk to them at any time.
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